Tuesday, 11 February 2014

The Gift of Love - A Dose of Encouragement 7



We do not really celebrate ST. Valentine's Day.

My husband and I never got into that as girlfriend and boyfriend except to exchange cards.

Perhaps it was because we were still at school and then at university for the 4 years before we got married, and school kids and students in the 70's did not have money!

Anyway we have never (that I can remember) gone out for a meal or special event for Valentine's Day.  Unless you count last year when we went to the local hotel for a meal with our son and his girlfriend and our daughter.  Seems strange, you may think, to go out with others on that night but we were not going out because of Valentine's Day but because our daughter was due to leave for South Korea a few days later and that was the night we were all free to have a farewell meal together.  I think it may have seemed a bit odd to the hotel as we were the only table not for a couple.

So this year I suggested to my husband that we have a date night on Friday Night, which he knew straight away was Valentine's Day - question still remains how did he know that without thinking?

I then assured him that I was not choosing

                                because it is Valentine's Day
 but simply because on



evening we have a meeting at church,

evening we are going to dinner at our son and daughter-in-law's home (the same pair that were only girlfriend and boyfriend this time last year, got engaged at the end of April and married at the end of October & our daughter managed to come back from South Korea for a few days for the wedding),

evening we have a friend round with us for dinner,


evening we have a prayer meeting in church

and

we will need to do all the catch-up from the busy week & be tired in the evening and just want to lie in front of the TV and watch something we have taped during the week.


                                   So
 evening was really our only choice.



Next was the question I could have uttered for him myself but I am kind and I let him say it.

"Well what do you want to do?"


I of course should have been prepared seeing as I knew he would say what he always says but I'm silly and I wasn't.  However being determined not to get annoyed at this usual question I sort of looked around me as I tried to think of something quickly and because I was in the kitchen making the dinner at the time I came out with

"You have to cook me a meal all by yourself"


You would have thought I had told him to do something he knew nothing about and had never seen before.


"How am I going to do that?"


This is the guy who taught me to make an omlette when we were students before we got married but now claims he doesn't know how to make one.  This is also the guy who after we got married made the meals on the days that his lectures were over earlier than mine while we were still students and who made all the meals for the few weeks of my final university exams.


Well that really was not how the conversation should have gone!

But even though I was rather annoyed at the usual type of response, and told him so!

That kind of thing was not going to spoil our week or even our day.


We have to remember that when we got married we promised to

                                         
                                                               so something like this cannot get in the way.



A few months ago the ladies who lead our graphics course were developing a magazine for the iPad called  DIY Marketing Graphics and they asked each of the people on the course if they would like to contribute a graphic on the theme of Love for the February Issue.


This was my offering and I was very pleased that they did feature it in the magazine.

I was just playing around with a nice black background and some red hearts and then the wording came to me.


Basically this is what we are doing when we commit to each other in marriage, we are giving our love as a gift to our spouse and we are committed to this forever.  We do not take it back in the hard times or the times (repeatedly) when we annoy each other.  We have given them our love so that overrules all else in any situation.  

This is what God has done with His love.  
He has given the gift of Love which is Jesus, because He loved us and 
He will not take His love back from us either.

I am very thankful that God has shown us true love by His own example.

We all should know the true qualities of Love (if not, we need to read 1 Corinthians 13) and so we know what our actions should be like.  The thing is we are all human and it is hard to get over being hurt and it is hard to accept apologies and it is hard to be gracious and forgiving.  

I am also very thankful that even though Fred & I may take a bit of time to do the forgiving etc. we know we still love each other and such a trust is in our marriage because we know that.


Have you ever thought about your love being a gift that you can give?

Have you thought about God's Gift of Love to you?


Linking up with Coffee for your Heart












NOTE: There is an Affiliate link in this blog post.

39 comments:

  1. Sandra this really touched me, I had not really thought about love as a gift to give but what really encouraged me was that once given it is not taken back and this is how God loves me that is so wonderful.

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    1. Hi Amanda, it's so kind of comforting isn't it and gives us self-worth that God loves us like that.

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  2. My husband and I didn't buy cards either. When we lived in the states we would go to Wal-mart and pick out the one we would want to give the other and exchanged them right there then put them back on the shelf. I'm thankful God does not take his love back.

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    1. Debbie what a fantastic idea. You also get him to the shop with you as well as probably having a fun time doing the choosing and exchanging. Also my husband would approve wholeheartedly with that one so should I tell him or not?

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  3. My Beloved and I try not to get too hung up on Valentine's day since he is in the army... As of today, we are 0-5 Vdays spent together in our relationship. But we try to lean on God's love in our times of duty separations. Thanks for this encouragement, Sandra!

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    1. Yes Sharita, it is not that particular day that is important but all the days together and apart. My husband used to travel a lot with his work for a few years and if we had been depending on having special days at certain times we would have had a lot of let downs.

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  4. Thanks for sharing at Essential Fridays.
    Blessings
    Mel from Essential Thing Devotions

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  5. We never go out to dinner on Valentine's Day, it just feels to much of an obligation instead of a true act of love.

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    1. Exactly Deanna, who wants to think that their spouse only loves them and treats them special that day because they are expected to. There are lots of other times to show our true love.

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  6. Nice post! It is very timely, with yesterday being Valentine's Day. We don't make a big deal about Valentine's Day here, other than doing some extra heart crafts with the kids so they can give out Valentines. But, even though I always tell my husband that I don't care if he gives me anything, I usually end up feeling hurt if he really doesn't give me anything. (How silly is that?) Yesterday was no exception. Not only did he not give me a gift but he and the kids were all sick, so he went to bed early and I watched a movie with the kids. Not a big deal, and I'm chuckling about it this morning, but last night I was feeling a little sorry for myself. Thanks for the reminder! Loving each other every day is far more important than a once a year gift :)

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    1. So sorry that they are all unwell. I know what you mean it is still nice to get something and I'm just realising that he didn't get me a card (or even recycle an old card- we both do that often) and I never even thought about getting him one. He did cook that meal however, so I need to be very grateful for that effort.

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  7. very timely and an inspiring post!! my boyfriend and I are far apart this year and we did not exchange gifts or go out on a dinner.. more so because he is in a very difficult financial state. However, we spend many minutes talking and praying! The sense of satisfaction is unmatched!

    Have a great weekend!!

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    1. What is one day in the year compared to the time we spend together in a good quality relationship?

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  8. Our anniversary is Feb. 19th so my husband usually gives me flowers sometime around Feb. 14th. But Valentines Day became a family event at our house. We gave cards to each other and to each child--mentioning the gifts and talents we noticed. It is a holiday that breaks up the winter and reminds us to encourage each other.
    Delighted that you concluded your post with a focus on God's love for us!

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    1. Hi Carol, yes the focus on God is the most important part and it's lovely that you have a family tradition that enriches your relationships.

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  9. Hubby and I usually exchange ecards and I get flowers - the girls may et chocolates because it's something special we don't do every day. I agree that being conscious about love being a gift is so powerful.
    Thanks for sharing this great article, Sandra!

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    1. Hi Delia, Yes, I think that what we are thinking about and expressing is far more important than the actual gifts although I know you will appreciate the flowers

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  10. We started dating in February and actually got married on Valentine's Day so for us we refer to February as love month. We always do something special together on or around that day to celebrate, depending on his work schedule. So thankful for God's gift of love to us - we should share it the whold year 'round.

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    1. Everything in February Mindy so you must be busy at the moment. Yes God's gift of love should be thought of all year round.

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  11. When my husband was growing up - nothing was celebrated, except for an orange and some candy at Christmas. No birthdays, valentines day, Mother's day etc. so it stands to reason if anyone gets a card for a celebration it is to my hubby from me. However, Robert shows his love in many other ways. He regularly cooks for me (I did all the cooking the first 40 years of our marriage.) He helps feed our dogs, and each morning does some light chores until he tires and retreats to his Lazy Boy or his computer. You didn't say, I was just wondering if your husband did cook on Friday? Thank you for sharing your beautiful story with us here at "Tell Me a Story."

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    1. Yes Hazel, he did cook and I enjoyed the meal and not having to prepare it and not having to clear up afterwards. Little things like this can be appreciated. I normally do all those kinds of things because he is working full-time (although from home now these last few years) and often has to travel with his work too.

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  12. Hi, Sandra. I guess it would feel strange to not celebrate Valentine's Day, as our wedding anniversary is just 2 weeks before (January 31), so we've always kind of combined the two to make a long-standing celebration. So funny that Fred was perplexed at the thought of cooking a meal by himself! My hubby's the same way, but he makes up for it by doing sweet romantic things for me during our 2 weeks (and throughout the year)! In fact this year we celebrated our 27th anniversary and I posted on my blogpage "27 different ways to rejuvenate your marriage"! If you need ideas what to do on this special day next year, feel free to check it out.
    http://christintheclouds.blogspot.com/2014/01/27-ways-to-re-juvinate-your-marriage.html
    Love is truly a gift that keeps on giving!!
    Ann @ Christ in the Clouds

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    1. Hi Ann, recognised your blog address as I had been on it before. Just popped over now and read the post and enjoyed it and left you a comment there. Thanks for dropping in.

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  13. My husband and I haven't really done anything for Valentine's before either, and it truly does stem from not having money while in school, and that was recent ;) This year my husband got my parents to watch our kids on Valentine's, but we didn't go out, just had a nice home cooked meal in our home without kids yelling for attention. And yes, we have a date night like this once a month, so it didn't feel like a special holiday, but it was a great time to share time together

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts

    Marissa
    http://forfunreadinglist.blogspot.com

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    1. Hi Marissa, yes when the children are young we need to make these types of efforts and keep on doing it then when they are older and away you and your husband will have more memories and still have a good close relationship.

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  14. So beautifully written! Love this post of yours.
    Thanks for sharing.
    Hope to see you on my blog:)

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    1. Hi Sanghamitra, I am glad you dropped by and enjoyed the post, why not come back for the rest of the series each Wednesday.

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  15. We haven't gone out for Valentines dinner in years. Thank you for sharing at The Weekend Brew!

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    1. Hi again Barbie, I guess you are just like us it is not too important to go out on that night. Enjoying the Weekend Brew, it must keep you busy getting round everyone as I find it hard to get round them.

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  16. Yes, He is a gift of love to us. I'm challenged but happy to live that kind of love in my marriage and parenting. Visiting today from Coffee for Your Heart...we're neighbors!

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  17. The gift of love is very special indeed. Thank you girl sharing with #thethemegame

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  18. The power of the gift of love - just huge. Thanks for sharing with #thethemegame

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  19. Great post. Love is a great gift to give.

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  20. I believe love is only really a gift when you give it away...

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  21. How wonderful, I do like it when hubbies get it even when we think they never will! Enjoy your date night and all the many more to come!

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  22. Beautiful post. I really enjoyed it. I will go look for your follow option! Love sure is a 'gift'.
    Thanks for sharing this. I was blessed.

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  23. This was a really great and thoughtful post!

    I like that you told him what you wanted...even though he didn't answer exactly how you wanted!

    My husband and I do not do Valentines Day either. We think it's more important to affirm our relationship and love every day.

    Thanks for a grand link for the letter G.

    A+

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