WHAT WILL I WEAR????? - Coffee & Conversation

Our son's wedding was a few months away, so for me the big question was

What will I wear?

Having already been through (for our kids alone)

4 graduations

3 baptisms

1 ordination as a pastor

1 ordination as a teacher in the church

 -  I have learned that there are important things that have to be dealt with so that your children approve of your outfit.

Short or long?

Hat or no hat?
(Definitely YES to a Cambridge Graduation!)

Hat or Fascinator?

Can I wear Trousers?
(Definitely NO to a Cambridge Graduation!)

Do I have to wear high heels?

What colour?

Who not to clash with?

Who to tone in with?

What jewellery with the outfit?

Oh I'm tired already just thinking about it before I start to talk about it, 

I'm not a fashion conscious person really!

My main problem is I am petite.   See a Previous Post HERE

Most places either

• do not do petite 
• have a very small selection 
• only have more old fashioned outfits in petites
• think that all petite people have to be thin 

so I hate having to look for something for particular events.



Also as Mother of the Groom:

First thing you know is you don't wear white, ivory or cream;  that is just too close to what your future daughter-in-law will be wearing and it is her big day so she should stand out.

Secondly once you know the colour of the bridesmaids you need to avoid colours too similar and other colours that would clash with it.

Third thing is you don't go strapless;  unless you have a jacket to go on top.
It is one thing having a young bride with bare shoulders but another thing completely to have an older mother-in-law with bare shoulders.


So after you have dealt with those 3 priorities there is then the wait to hear that the bride's mother has got her outfit and find out the colour so that you don't pick the same colour or something that will clash with it also.


Okay so all of that has probably involved numerous cups of coffee and that hasn't helped the effort to lose that weight you had been trying to lose from even before they got engaged but are still having to work hard on.

Then you start looking seriously for your outfit and you want to have it well in advance in case you need to have any alterations made once you lose all that weight you are working on.

Then

You see something you think you like but immediately you start thinking -

 will it please everyone else as well???...

My first reaction was  "Oh I think that is just me!"

However I know that sometimes I like things that are a bit different to the norm but that doesn't mean that I wear really different or strange things, at least I don't think so anyway.

So I decided to send a picture of the outfit to Linda in South Korea, thank goodness for ipads with their screenshots and email and messaging and facetime.  (Sounding too tech savvy here and I really am not like that.)

Well she liked it and what did she say?  

Did you guess it?

She said "Oh mum that is just you!"


Did I run out and buy it?   No.


I kept looking online for a few weeks and then finally I showed the picture to Fred and he thought it was nice so he said "That's nice, do you like it?"

I wonder why I was talking about an outfit for the wedding and showing this to him and he had to ask me if I liked it?   

 

Are all men like this?

"Well do you want to get it?"  he asks then when he realises by the look on my face that I obviously do like it.

My answer "I don't know."

So he was probably thinking

Why is she making such a point of showing me this if she doesn't know if she wants to get it, I thought she liked it, was I wrong?

So another few days go past and then I start hinting that I want to go to a certain shopping centre.

Finally I just have to say to him that I want to go and see if I can see the outfit "in real life" in the shopping centre and not just online because I need to actually see exactly what it is like and then I need to try it on because I'm not sure of the size I would have to get but I want him to go too as he needs to see it too.

So off we go and when we get there he thinks that he's just going to go into the shop with me I will try it on and that's that.

No, no, no,  I direct him to a "Bose" shop and I go in to look around and hope that it is there.

I enter the shop and the first thing I see is the outfit. 

So I try it on and the 3 ladies working in the shop all think it is lovely on me, 

so
     they bring me the shoes to match,
           bag to match,
                 hat to match,
                     take hat away

 (hats at that moment were very large and I think definitely too large for me)

                           bring fascinator to match,
                                  take fascinator away 

(even the fascinator is large)

                                         and bring smaller fascinator to match.

And I liked it!
 
 I phoned Fred, he came and the ladies ushered him into the changing room.
          He liked it too.

               "So are you getting it now?"  he asked.

"Do you think the kids will like it?" I ask.

"Of course they will"  he replied.

         

        "How do you know?"  is my next question.

                    

                 "They are bound to like it, it's lovely"  he said.

The solution?

                          TAKE A PICTURE!

            

and that's what we do, thank goodness for iPads and coffee shops with Wifi.

Fred took a picture of me standing in the changing room and we headed over to a nearby Costa Coffee (having taken the outfit off and left it behind the sales desk with a very understanding set of shop assistants).

Now you might wonder why I deliberately mention that we went to Costa Coffee.

The answer is because I am not fond of Starbucks and also Costa Coffee have the greatest lemon and poppy seed muffin which I just adore but have been missing out on since trying to lose weight. One of those muffins has as many calories as my full dinner would have.

So we get the coffee (and tea for Fred) and a muffin which Fred says we have to share so that it isn't too many calories for me - isn't he so considerate?  No really, I'm not being sarcastic here because Fred will tell you himself that he is not a muffin eater.

Then connected to Wifi we email the picture to both Linda (South Korea) and Jonathan (Leeds) and start messaging them to make sure they look at their email.

During the time it took to eat the muffin we had a group message conversation with both kids and they encouraged me to go back and buy the outfit.

            But  

"Do you think Daniel & Suzie will like it too?"  I ask

                                  "YES!" is the joint reply

So we head back and buy the outfit.

A few days later we are with Daniel getting the suits for the guys for the wedding and I show him the outfit, he likes it.  Later that evening I see Suzie and show her the picture and she likes it so all is well.

Or rather would be well when I would go to the seamstress and get that little alteration done because (back to where we started) 

I am petite 

and the dress is regular fitting so I needed the straps shortened.

So I had my outfit, and it wouldn't clash with the bridesmaids.

And the wedding was 4 weeks exactly from that day!

  It wasn't such a hard task after all, sure it wasn't?

I am Petite! Who Cares? - A Dose of Encouragement

Yes. I am Petite!

That does not mean I take size 10 (UK) or below and it maddens me when people use petite in this way.

I am petite because I am smaller than 5' 3".

In fact I am not quite 5' 1"


I do need clothes that are the right length and in the right proportion but it can be very hard to find these even in the small sizes but much harder in sizes over 12. Then we also have to put up with a more old-fashioned look for the petites in those sizes.


When we lived in America I found a lovely shop called "Petite Sophisticate" and I just adored the clothes from there. But there was another problem and that is: Why should we have to pay more money for items that actually have less material in them than "normal" items?

My husband is almost 6' tall so there is a bit of a difference between the two of us. Even so when we had our first son I prayed that he would not be short like me but taller like his dad. 2 years later we had another son and I prayed that he would be tall as well. 3 years after that we had our daughter and I prayed that she would not take after me.



God answered my prayers and our oldest boy is almost as tall as his dad, the second boy is taller than his dad at around 6' 3" (sometimes we joke that I prayed too hard for him) and our daughter is about 5 inches taller than me. My sister used to joke that I needed a stepladder to kiss Fred (my husband) but that's not really a joke when it comes to Daniel (son no.2) and he normally ends up with a kiss on the neck instead of on the cheek.

So I was back to the petite clothing problem when my son Daniel was getting married and I needed an outfit.

I really needed a petite outfit.

Another thing that often goes hand in hand with someone being petite is the attitude of others towards them.


We get lots of remarks about our height.


"Gosh you are small!"
I know I am, do they think they are the first to have noticed?


"You'd better stand in front for the photo or you won't be seen."
I know I have to stand in front, do they think this has never happened to me before?


I normally look at my husband Fred in one of these "height challenged" moments and he smiles just the right way to show he has noticed and he knows how I feel. If he's near enough there will be the squeeze of my hand or a wee stroke on my neck.
Fred can do something just between us that makes me feel cared for in situations where others don't take time to think how I might feel.



Often people don't stop to think how we feel.



So looking for a special outfit is not an excitement for me but can be a dread because of the lack of choice and the way I may be treated.


I know I can't dwell on the fact that others aren't thoughtful or considerate all the time and I know that there are probably times when I don't stop and think to be as considerate as I possibly can.

There is only one person who cares about us all enough to know how we feel and what we need and that is the God.

When I see my husband being so thoughtful and understanding of what hurts me then I see something of the example of Christ and this is the way it is in a marriage. The husband is to love his wife just as Christ loves the church and this means being protected, provided for and cared for giving us security in our relationship.


So obviously when we see a good example of this in a marriage it helps us to remember the security we have in Christ even when we tend to temporarily forget His promises.

Of course this is another good reason to read some of the Word of God each day to be constantly reminded of how much Christ cares for us, enough to die in our place when we did not deserve His love.

Doesn't that make us feel cared for, loved and protected?

Doesn't that make us want to be part of His family?

Doesn't that lift us when others put us down?

Doesn't that bring us joy?

People don't stop to think how we feel. Who Cares?

Saw this riddle for the word PETITE

and I just wish it were true 

but it makes me smile anyway.

Well what about that outfit I had to get for Daniel's Wedding?

You can read all about that at What Will I Wear?

and

Here are some other  Doses of Encouragement